Like Johnny Depp without the Moustache
by FluffDucklings
Summary: Eric meets Matthew's family at dinner, sisters are perverts and annoyances, "things almost happen," and Zeke just wants milk. AussieCan Rated T for "things almost happening."


A/N: Here is my one-shot that I mentioned on my profile! Yay! I wrote a bit of it the night before my family and I drove up to Dallas and then some on the way back. I was real nervous because I'd never written anything remotely close to sex. Hey, I've yet to even have my first kiss. Get off my back! XD  
>Anyways, I really like this. AussieCan has really grown on me. It's so cute~<br>Eric = Australia - spelling mistakes in his speech are on purpose.  
>Zeke = New Zealand - I just imagine little Zealand as a really loud person. XD And... creative liberty anyone?<br>Wy = Wy - Wy sounds like a great name for a little girl. (Maybe Prince Paul would agree? /dreams)

I don't own Hetalia, a car, or a cute little sister... I hope you like my fail of a one-shot~

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><p>Loosen up, Kiwi. It's not good for your health to be so up-tight all the time."<p>

Matthew sighed in annoyance. "I'm not up-tight," he pouted.

The first boy rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, mate. But promise me you'll bring your family tonight to meet mine."

Matthew's pout melted into a small smile and said, "I wouldn't think of chickening out, if that's what you're implying."

"Me? Implying? I'd never do that, mate."

"You know I'm kidding, Eric," Matthew giggled.

The two blondes leaned in. Eric took Matthew's lips with his own, ravishing the younger teenager. The Aussie's hands held Matthew to him, one on the small of his back, the other entangled in his long hair. Matthew's own hands were locked around the back of Eric's neck.

When the last bell rang, Matthew graciously made his way out of sixth period Math and to the student parking lot on the south side of the school. There, his twin brother, Alfred, was waiting.

In the lot, Alfred was sitting on the hood of a shiny red car (Mercedes, Corvette, Matthew couldn't tell the difference – it was a car) while he talked to a large, silver-haired boy and his rather ample sister.

"So where's your creepy, stalker sister, Ivan?" Alfred asked after laughing his signature laugh.

Ivan suppressed a shiver. "Natalia is staying after for her team practice."

Matthew caught the last part of the conversation before Ivan and Katya waved goodbye.

"Mattie!" Alfred hopped off the hood and slid into the driver's seat.

"Hey, Al." Matthew sat in the front passenger and looked to his near look-alike. "We're all going to Eric's tonight. Remember?"

Alfred stepped on the gas and the two sped off towards home. "Yeah, yeah. We're having dinner, we're meeting each other, don't say anything stupid."

The younger twin smiled. "Good boy. I knew I could train you well." He pet Alfred's head, who decisively swat the hand away.

"Hey, I said I'd behave, but I'm not your lap dog, buddy."

When the twins go home, Francis and Arthur were in the middle of one of their daily catfights.

"Your _son._ The one you so happen to forget about every day!"

"Don't you be thinking you're on some high and mighty horse, frog! You forget him too!"

Alfred popped his head into the kitchen. "Hey, dudes! Mattie wants us to leave in five!"

The two men stopped trying to verbally strangle the other. "To what?"

"So we can meet Eric's family, duh! Now come on!"

Francis looked himself over. "We need to change!"

"Nah, Mattie said it's supposed to be casual. He's wearing a sweater."

Speaking of which, Matthew walked into the quickly shrinking kitchen. "I don't want to be late, Papa."

"Oui, of course." He turned to Arthur. "Are we leaving now?"

The Englishman glared at his French partner and nodded.

"Z! Get the door!"

"Yeah, yeah," A tall, brunette opened the front door to reveal Matthew shaking nervously as Francis and Arthur bickered in not-so hushed voices and Alfred went on being his obnoxious self. "Eric! Your boyfriend's here!" She called, letting them all in. "He sounds obnoxious! I thought you said he was quiet!"

"He is quiet! That's probably Alfred!" Eric stepped out of his room, smoothing out the wrinkles in his shirt. He looked up to everyone and smiled when he saw Matthew. "Hiya, Kiwi!" Matthew blushed.

"Oh! Him! I didn't see this one!"

"Shut up, Zeke." Eric muttered. He stepped up to the group in the hallway. "Hi, I'm Eric." He greeted Francis and Arthur who had magically stopped fighting when they stepped into the apartment.

"Bonjour, Eric. I hope you are treating Mon Mathieu correctly," Francis said wantonly. Arthur jabbed him in the ribs with his elbow.

"Shut up, _frog._ I'm Arthur, hello." Arthur held out his hand and Eric shook it.

"This is Zeke, my older sister. Just pretend she's not here."

"Not funny, E. I'm the one who made dinner!" She whined. "I can just as easily eat it myself.

With introductions out of the way, Eric led the family into the dining room. "Well… I've never done this before so I didn't really know what to do or expect," he said sheepishly.

"I told you, E. All you do is ask his parents about their lives, then they ask you things and then we can all get on with our lives!"

"So… uh… Mr. Bonnefoy, what do you-"

"Oh, never mind that." Francis cut off. He had a serious face on –a rare feat actually, that caught Arthur off-guard. "Tell us about yourself. Mathieu is so secretive. Where are your parents?"

Eric stiffened a bit. "Th-They died when I was little. Zeke's been taking care of us. Me and Wy, that is. Though she's sleeping in her room." Zeke nodded, a tangle of hair falling into her pasta.

"I'm sorry."

"No, no. Zeke's been taking good care of us." Eric smiled brightly, the bandage on his nose crinkling. "So, um, what else do you wanna know, Mr. Bonnefoy?"

Before the Frenchman could answer, Arthur spoke up. "Do you have a job?"

"Yeah. I work at the animal shelter. A real fan of 'em, I am."

"Ha-ha! That's awesome! Mattie loves animals. He has a pet pol-"

"It's stuffed, Al." Matthew countered. "And don't be so loud, you'll wake Wy."

"Yeah, mate. Wy can be a real bummer in the head when she's woken from her naps."

The two families ate in silence for a few moments afterwards. The clinks and clanks of silverware were unusually loud and Matthew began twitching in his seat every time Alfred scraped his knife on his plate. Just as he was going to try and start a new conversation, Wy came out of her room, rubbing the back of her hand over her eyes. She sniffed once, twice.

"Eric, I'm hungry." Of course she only woke up to the smell of food. Eric rolled his eyes.

"Come say hello to our company first," Eric said as he stood up to fix her a plate.

Little Wy looked through her ruffled brunette bangs. "Mattie!" Her eyes sparkled at the sight of the blushing blonde. "Mattie! You're here!" She ran up to him and nearly knocked him out of his seat. From then until Eric pried her off of the poor boy, Wy had her arms around Matthew's neck, hugging him.

Francis chucked. "She really likes you, Mathieu." His son blushed. "That's good. That means she has a fine role model." He blushed again.

"M-Merci, Papa."

Zeke had been unusually quiet for the majority of the dinner, but that was all abolished when she announced that dessert was just ice cream and cobbler. "Finish all of your dinner first, Wy!" She shouted from the kitchen.

The cuckoo clock in the hallway chirped seven times. The little yellow bird popped out and three couples danced around on the top of the bird house. Arthur was shoving Francis towards the door, Alfred in tow. The plan they had formulated was that Matthew would stay the night and the next day, come home. Matthew waved goodbye to his parents and brother as Wy fell back asleep in his arms.

"Now get back in before all the heat gets in!" Zeke shouted. Matthew scrambled in and was met with Eric holding out for Wy.

"When I put her down, we can go to my room and get away from Z, there." His smile was almost as big as the outback. Matthew nodded.

The blonde headed towards his boyfriend's bedroom, knowing he wouldn't mind if he waited there. The room was nice. Neat and tidy, not really what a teenage boy's room usually looked like. There were shelves that touched the ceiling, full of animal figurines. Koalas mostly, and bears, kangaroos, snakes, fish, everything that reminded him of his home in Australia. His bed was filled to the brim with stuffed koala teddy bears. All different shapes and sizes and colors. Matthew made himself home within the sea of teddies.

Eric came in a few minutes later rolling his eyes dramatically. "Wy can be such a brat, y'know?" Matthew nodded. Eric smiled and then the two were kissing.

The Australia born teen worked his hands through Matthew's hair as they lay back on the bed. The blonde's mouth, he thought happily, tasted of maple and mint, a surprisingly great taste. He worked his tongue into Matthew's mouth, sliding it over his teeth. Both of them shivered.

Feeling a bit useless at that moment, Matthew placed his arms around Eric's neck, pulling him closer. He pulled their bodies closer, feeling everything through two sets of clothes. Matthew moaned.

Just as the blonde was working up the nerve to roam his hand under Eric's shirt, the Aussie broke the kiss. "W-We have to be quiet," he panted. His lips were swollen, red and wet like Matthew's.

"A-Are we…?" Matthew whispered, afraid to make his voice higher. Eric nodded.

"Only if you want to though, Kiwi."

"O-Okay." Matthew nodded. He took a breath and blushed. "D-Do you… have… you know?"

"A condom? Yeah." Eric sat up and pulled open the draw of his nightstand. A small package of condoms lay inside. Matthew blushed. He ripped one of the small squares off and tossed it onto the bed, next to Matthew.

The blonde's breathing became just a bit more rapid. He could hear his heart beating inside his chest, and practically feel the blood picking up its pace inside his veins. "E-Eric?"

The Aussie in question sat back down on the bed. "Yeah?" He slid a strand of Matthew's hair back behind his ear.

"I'm… scared. I know that sounds stupid but…" He sighed. "I've never done this before… H-Have you?"

"Once." Matthew looked down. "B-But he was a mistake. It was more like confirmation."

Eric coaxed Matthew to take his sweater off, the red article thrown over the back of the desk chair. The Aussie rubbed at Matthew's arms, keeping him warm. Their shirts were taken off next.

"W-Wait." Matthew looked towards the door. "Does it lock?" Eric nodded and went to go lock his door. When he sat back down on the bed, he pulled Matthew on top of him for another kiss.

The Canadian smiled. "You're real handsome; like a blonde Johnny Depp without the creepy moustache." Eric laughed.

"Great analogy, Kiwi. Let me try." He thought a moment. "I got nothin'. You're incomparable."

Matthew smiled. Eric always knew just what to say. "Thanks." He looked down at the Aussie. Matthew thought for another moment. He opened his mouth but found it too dry to talk. He opened it again after swallowing. "Not tonight, Eric. I'm not ready… I'm sorry."

"No need to 'pologize, Kiwi. If yur not ready, yur not ready." Eric sat up, letting Matthew breath again. "So, uh, what do you wanna do instead?"

Matthew blushed with embarrassment. "I dunno." He mumbled an apology again and latched onto Eric. "Whatever you want to do."

"We could watch a movie with Z, but you have to promise to stop apologizing." Eric pulled Matthew off the bed and opened his bedroom door. Zeke came tumbling in.

"I came to ask if you wanted to watch a movie," she shouted, despite their closeness.

"You were spyin' on us!" Eric thwacked her head and Zeke tried to deny it. "Shut up, you lug, you were spying and that's that."

Watching them fight, Matthew couldn't help but let a small giggle pass though his still slightly swollen lips. One giggle became two and then three and then he began to laugh. "I-I-I'm sorry, but it's just so funny!" He almost doubled over. "Zeke, you're such a pervert."

Zeke furrowed her brow and tried to hide her blush. "And you're a skinny, shy, kid!"

"Oh, great comeback, Z. Real smooth." Eric feigned being frightened. "Let's just get a movie on, now." Matthew nodded, helping the near-adult up.

They ended up fixing nearly a ton of movie snacks and turning on an independent horror film. Zeke was sprawled across the floor between the couch and the television and Eric had squeezed Matthew as close to him as he could be without actually sitting in his lap.

Just as the girl was sneaking down to the basement, hand shaking as he tried to hold the flashlight steady, Zeke popped up and shouted at them. The two boys jumped, nearly falling over the back of the couch. The brunette girl doubled over, laughing her head off.

"I got you good! Admit it! I got both of you good!" Eric thumped her head again.

The boys awoke on the couch, the movie long since turned off and heard Zeke in the kitchen, cooking. After a quick glance at the cuckoo clock, they jumped up and fixed their clothes. It was almost noon. Matthew knew Arthur was always uptight about tardiness. (Unfortunately, Eric learned this too, but that's a different story.)

"Make sure Wy eats her breakfast while I'm gone. You know how she gets when she's painting. Make her stop and eat something," Eric called as he grabbed his car keys and followed Matthew out the door.

"Whatever!" They could hear Zeke shout through the door. "And bring home milk!"

Eric sighed, slumping over as they walked to his car. "God, she can be annoying."


End file.
